Saturday, November 8, 2008


I am mourning
I never had

How can that be?

There is this
playing in my head

That changes

And I skip to the beats
and fall
with the rhythms

Yet I am silent.

The air,
evaporates around me
and through me

The lights
grow, then dim
then grow again
The wind shakes
and shivers.

And reminds me that

I am missing
I never had.

How can that be?


Pauline said...

This poem makes me sad, makes me yearn to be able to give you what you miss. In every moment, know that you are loved.

Lee said...

Haunting and evocative. Makes me wonder how it can be and what it can be.

Vincent said...

Beautifully expressed, and answerable too. You will answer it in your own way and your own time, I am sure.

Sky said...

manifest it...bring it into your life. i wanted to move to the pacific nw in the late '80s and early '90s. i was not brave enough to make such a change in my life. the relationship i had been involved in for 12 years ended. i was absorbed in despair. in time i accepted the changes in my life but lacked my old passion and energy. a few years later i met a wonderful man who knew more about love, commitment, and nurturing than anyone i had ever known. middle-aged and falling in love, i was astounded in this new environment and careful with my heart. 3 years later we married. guess where a job searach took him with no hint from me whatsoever? seattle, washington, the beautiful pacific northwest. life happens, but we are not always passive players.

etcetera said...

Thank you all for your comments. To Sky: There are as many ways of looking at the world as there are people, and thus no one prescriptive for a "broken" heart. It is not about finding another person to fill a "void." It is thinking (b/c of the dominant ideology) that we are born with a "void" needing to be filled (with religion, vision, love, food, sex, drugs, whatever you like). To me, that which comes into our lives only appears to be manifestation b/c we think it fills something we are missing. I am interested in living a way that is free of the search.